I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
