i wish semen tasted like chocolate
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
