At least make sure they are 18
Why
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
