how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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