He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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