Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
