Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
tell your sister to shave her snatch
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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