He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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