if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
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Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
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Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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