i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
