And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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