There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
