Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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