he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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