dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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