I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
