How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
