His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
God, you're like boner-b-gone
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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