Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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