I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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