I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
