I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
