do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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