you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
