I understand Curling. That high.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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