Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
