The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
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You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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