That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
