just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I wish there were birth control emojis
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize