Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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