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• (850): View more from Florida

  TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.

  (407): View more from Florida

  i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?

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• (813): View more from Florida

  He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet

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• (562): View more from California

  When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  Something about Sunday night screams phone sex

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me

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• (415): View more from California

  He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.

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