omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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