how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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