Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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