Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
