Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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