It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
