Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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