but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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