I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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