The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Ketchup is God's man juice
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
