Jerry, you need to find god
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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