good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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