got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize