apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
