508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
