You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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