just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
