Yo dont text me then not text me
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
