Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I want her autograph on my taint
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
