Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
