I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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