im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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