i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
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the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
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all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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