he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
