i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.