Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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