why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara