I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
