Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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