new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Are we still banned from the library?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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