I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
