He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Fuck appropriateness.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
