Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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