Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Is Oprah even human
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
